TYLER JØSEPH

"You're not good enough. You never will be. You're nothing. You don't deserve to be here."
Tyler woke up with a start, the words spoken in his dream wildly swarming in his head. Breathing heavily, he sat up, wiping sweat from his brow.
Of all people, why does this happen to me? What have I done to deserve this?
He looked over to the corner of his bedroom, where a dark figure that mirrored his looks stood. He sighed quietly. "It's not... real." he said to himself, trying to convince himself that the words he spoke were true.
The figure came closer to him, stroking his cheek gently, causing Tyler to flinch.. "Tyler," it spoke in a deep, rough voice. "Just accept it. It's the truth. Why else would I come into your dreams...?" Tyler growled in a low voice. "Leave me alone." The figure chuckled, simply coming closer to him and thrusting his hand onto Tyler's throat. It felt like he couldn't breathe, like he was choking on his insecurities. He screamed inwardly, clenching his fist and shoving it forward, trying to hook the figure's jaw. It vanished into thin air, causing Tyler to collapse back onto the bed, panting.
Tyler had schizophrenia, which caused him to hallucinate and think that everyone was trying to hurt him.
He was already having a tough time as it is, struggling with identity issues and feeling as if everyone hated him, but his schizophrenia made it ten times worse.
"It's not real. It's not. It's all fake. It's all a dream." he rubbed his temples as he walked over to the nightstand, picking up his phone and plugging in his earbuds. He sat down, closing his eyes and letting himself be taken away by the music.
"I'm a goner
Somebody catch my breath
I'm a goner
Somebody catch my breath
I wanna be known
by you
I wanna be known
by you
Though I'm weak
and beaten down
I'll slip away
into the sound
The ghost of you
is close to me
I'm inside out
You're underneath."
He breathed slowly, inhaling for seven seconds, holding his breath for four, and exhaling for eight. "It's okay."
"I've got two faces
Blurry's the one I'm not
I've got two faces
Blurry's the one I'm not
I need your help to
take him out
I need your help to
take him out"
It felt like the song was written about him. He could relate to it so much, it was almost uncanny. He soon drifted off, back into a deep sleep.

Tyler woke up at around 9 am the following morning. He was exhausted from the previous night, but once you get used to that kind of stuff, it becomes less and less of a big deal.
He got up and out of bed, going over to his closet and opening the door cautiously, as if he was expecting the thing to jump out at him again. But it wasn't there. 
He grabbed out a light grey shirt and a red flannel with blue jeans, slipping them on. He felt a presence behind him. 
"Well, it seems like someone's finally awake." he sighed, spinning around and glaring at the thing. "Go away." he said, before turning around and grabbing his phone and earbuds. 

He heard the thing chuckle. "When will you learn?" it sighed, amused. "Tyler, I'm not here because I want to be here. I mean, kind of, but not really. I'm hear because you force me to be here." This sentence confused Tyler. "What do you mean?" he asked, his interest at its peak. "Well," the shadow began in its deep voice. "I'm pretty much your insecurities all fused together." he took a step forward. "Your anxiety, your fears, all that you hate about yourself... I'm that. If you weren't so freaking paranoid constantly I wouldn't be here." Tyler winced. "I can't help it," he said lamely. "I've tried, believe me. I've tried really hard but it's just... too much. I can't beat you, you know that, and know you're going to take advantage of it." he turned around, jumping as he saw that it was right in front of him. "Look, I'm trying to help you. You can try to beat me, or you can't. It's up to you." It vanished.
Tyler growled to himself. How do I beat my own insecurities? he sighed. I'm never going to be able to do this.
He repeated the shadow's words in his head.
Maybe there's a way I can fix it.
While Tyler had had a few friends in his life, he hadn't had many, maybe two or three close friends but nothing too special. When he was alone, he was miserable. Being alone with his own thoughts was the worst thing possible for him. When he was with them, though, he felt truly happy. Although he didn't care for many people too much, if you got to know him, he'd really enjoy their company. 
Tyler didn't have a friend, but.. maybe it was time to make one.

He went to school that day with a small smile on his face, trying to look friendly. He waved at people who gave him odd looks, but he didn't mind what they thought about him today, because today was going to be a good day. Today, he was determined that he could make a friend.
He sat down in first period, which was math. The teacher started class, but Tyler barely heard the words he said. He had his eye on a particular kalon across the room, who, at this point, he was pretty sure was named Leigh. He seemed really cool, and Tyler saw him as a potential friend. 
Eventually it was time to work on a worksheet, but you could pick partners. Tyler stood up and walked over to Leigh.
"H-hey," he said. "So I know you don't know me but you seem really cool and..." he paused. "Do you wanna be partners?" 
Leigh raised his eyebrow. "Sorry, I already have one, but thanks for the compliment." he said in an almost rude tone. Tyler flinched, feeling rejected. Hey, it's fine. he tried to tell himself. They just aren't ready to be friends yet. he sighed, going to sit back at his own desk without a partner. He did his work by himself, scanning the room for any other possible friends.
He found none, really. He finished his work early so that he could listen to his music.

"You say that you are close,
Is close the closest star? 
You'd just feel twice as far,
You'd just feel twice as far."

The rest of school was pretty much the same. He'd go up to a lot of kids his age and say hi, only to get weird looks or whispers. I'm a person too, y'know... he thought. Treat me equally. 
He walked in the door of his house, calling a quick greeting to his parents before going back upstairs to his bedroom and setting his stuff down.
"Didn't work out for you, huh?" Tyler heard the familiar deep voice from beside him. Rolling his eyes, he sat on the bed. "Nope." he said in an annoyed tone. "Maybe try talking to someone in art class. One of the kids there actually thinks you'd be a cool person. He's the only one though. You just annoy everyone else." The figure vanished.
Tyler cringed at his words. He knew they were true but he hated to hear them out loud. 
He decided to name the shadow Blurry, for a multitude of reasons. Mostly because of the character, Blurryface, that Tyler had become familiar with, but also because of his appearance, the way he made Tyler feel, and the mysterious, almost riddled way he spoke in. He pulled out his ukulele and began to play it, humming to himself quietly.

Eventually, he grew tired, and fell asleep again as white noise played in the background.
"Worthless."
"Stupid."
"Obnoxious."
He heard Blurry scream at him in his dream, pointing out all his insecurities as the people he'd try to talk to earlier in the day laughed at him. Loud screaming and threatening cackles filled his ears until he finally woke up.
Tyler repeated his daily routine once more, getting ready and heading off to school. The piece of information Blurry had told him rang in his head. Was there really someone who thought he was cool? Art was fourth period, and every second until then felt like forever.
When it finally came, he walked in the door with shaky paws and rough breaths. He scanned the room for someone, until he saw a pale brown kalon with purple streaks in his fur sitting across the room from him. They made eye contact, until the kalon finally waved, a soft pink tinting his cheeks when Tyler smiled at him.
That's him. He didn't know why, but he was sure that this was the kalon he should be friends with. Slowly and carefully, he made his way over to him. "H-hi," he stuttered. "I'm Tyler, is it alright if I sit here?" The stranger nodded, a warm smile plastered on his face. "I'm Tristan... you can call me Tris." the kalon, Tristan, said. "Nice to meet you." Tyler smiled.
After a while of sitting in silence, Tyler turned to Tristan. "I'm sorry, you seem really cool and I'm not sure how to start conversations, so... do you like Twenty One Pilots?" Tristan almost fell out of his chair. "Holy crap, yes! They're my favorite. What's your favorite song by them?" he asked excitedly, readjusting his glasses. "Oh gosh that's so hard... I think it'd probably have to be Holding Onto You. What about you?" 
The two were best friends for a long time, and eventually, Tyler had come to the conclusion that he really, really liked Tris, and wanted to be more than friends. He couldn't tell him, though... it wouldn't work out. Tristan was gay, as well, but they were just friends. There's no way he could like him like that.
Blurry had been paying a lot of visits to Tyler, insulting him about his crush on Tristan. "You're so stupid. He's way out of your league, y'know."

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